Posting something really personal here in my blog wasn't an easy thing. But it's an outlet for me to share the harsh reality of life that everyone of us do experience in real life. Instead of posting anything about fashion, travel or food blog, let me dedicate this blog post to all people out there who's life has been moved or became a victim of love.
It was almost a year and a half when I met this guy whom I never thought would make a big impact in my life. It was a time that I was decided to go seriously on a relationship after several attempts of failures in my love life aspect. I have travelled the world to search for answers and focused on things that really matter to me, at that time I made sure that I was ready enough to go and find that person for me.
It was all magical, memorable and series of ecstatic feelings that made me so addicted to the thought that someone do like you and have that same love affection for you. It was almost a year before we decided to commit with each other. It was not all happy moments but there were some serious struggles and challenges that we both surpassed. My love got even deeper despite all the shortcomings, flaws and hang-ups of that person that I truly loved right from the very start.
I thought things and situations will get totally easy afterwards. I was dreaming of that fairy tale love story where two people just love each other and despite any circumstances, no one can separate these two hearts apart. First few months were all I ever asked for in a relationship until that time came when it was a dilemma of saving that relationship. There were hatred, jealousy, anger, cheating, misunderstanding and all other negative aspects that most relationships would normally encounter. We both survived that stage, knowing that as long as we both love each other, thats all that matters.
Things really didn't get well with out relationship in the long run. It was obviously a conscious and intentional mistakes that was done that I really couldn't bear and understand. Until all Im doing was to absorb everything just for the sake of saving the replationship that truly mattered to me. But it was too much, until one day when I exploded and decided to end things up. It was a tough and painful decision to make but I can't blame myself for doing it.
Then suddenly there was reconciliation and fixing of broken hearts. I have never re-committed again to anyone in any of my failed relationships from my past but I was surprised that I still did it. Despite all the pains and hurts that I never deserved at all, I decided to still give it a try. It was difficult earning up that trust again and saving a relationship that was totally ruined and crashed but I realized that I truly loved him so much that I can't even let him go after everything that happened.
But it was the same old story of cheating and dishonesty. It was a massive slap im my face that all I ever wanted to do was to escape from that reality. I always told myself that I will push myself in this love to my limit, at least in the end I have no regrets. I just woke up one day that I still love that person but I'm not in love with him anymore. This book that is posted here was a great tool of realization for me too when it comes to saving a relationship. Today its almost a week that Im completely gone out of his world, it was almost a week too since I left him and struggling on the harsh reality of moving on. I have no regrets at all as I have done my part.
Let my SILENCE be my best revenge. I hope I made an impact in his life on what love is all about. All I want now is to be HAPPY and focus my life to people that really MATTERS to me. I will continue to travel the world and search for answers and find my PURPOSE and WORTH, I will still enjoy life through good food and share to everyone how good it is to live and explore your own destiny. I will still dress up and be an influence to others on how to present yourself fashionably by simply being who you really are.
This is a heart broken story of a nurse blogger stuck in Singapore. Will be out of social world for a while but will be back soon guys! Life doesn't end here. Let me find myself first.
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